


Bad Touch Babysitters!

by nursal1060



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Baby magic, Babysitting, Friendship, Funny, Gen, Magic, Magic Gone Wrong, Nannies, Photography, Timeline Shenanigans, babysitting shenanigans, btt, england's magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 17:32:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6249070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nursal1060/pseuds/nursal1060
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A typical world meeting goes wrong when the BTT turn almost every other country in the room into babies!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Touch Babysitters!

Summary: The countries all meet up for a meeting,and all of a sudden, France accidentally uses England’s hidden wand and turns most of the countries into their chibi selves! How will the BTT handle being nannies for a day?  
\-----------------------------------------------

England ran around in the world meeting yelling at France, “Bloody wanker! My wand is not a toy! Return it to me this instant!”  
France pranced around imitating England, “Look at me! I can summon my unicorn! And the fairies! And the elves! And mint bunny! I’m so magical, I’m so cool!”  
Prussia reached over and stole the wand from France, “Let me see zhat!”  
He took the wand and ran around with Spain and the wand, pretending to tag him with it. The Bad Touch Trio all ran into the World Meeting room in a laughing line, getting chased by a very angry England.  
Germany roared, “WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WORLD MEETING, SIT DOWN!”  
Prussia twirled like a ballerina, “No vay West! Zhis fairy princess says you need to sit down!” By accident, Prussia tipped the wand a bit too far, and a jolt shot from the wand, hitting all other nations in the world meeting room.

When the cloud cleared, Spain was scared, “Dios mios...w-what happened?”  
France coughed, “Merdé...is that...crying I hear?”  
Prussia looked closer, “Oh. Mein. Gott…”  
Once the cloud cleared, they saw babies in the room...all the nations who had been in the meeting that had gotten shot by the jolt were babies or toddlers now.  
America, Russia, China, Italy, Romano, Germany and Japan were all in front of them looking like children. China, Russia and Germany were each at least 4 years old; America and Japan were younger, the Italy brothers still in diapers.  
England screamed at them, “Do you know what you three just did?! You messed with the age spell, and now we have seven babies to watch and care for!”  
Just then, an eruption of crying came from all the children.

The four adults headed back to England’s house, each holding the children. Spain was carrying the little Italy brothers, Prussia held Germany and Russia’s hands as they walked at his pace, France carried baby Japan and held China’s hand, and England led the way, wand in one hand, child America in the other.  
France asked, “...amour, what are you going to do?”  
England hissed, “DON’T call me that frog! It depends...we have 7 kids, which means we need to make 7 potion doses. That could take me all night.”  
Prussia asked, “...does zhat mean…?”  
Spain finished his thought, “...we need to babysit...all 7 of them?”  
England looked back at them with a smirk, “Well, this is all your fault, you bloody imbeciles. Luckily I’m not making you brew the potion as well.”

In England’s house, they placed the little ones on the sofa, as they were all tired.  
England told them, “Remember you fools, they’ll wake up after an hour. Feed them milk and applesauce, and play with them. I’ll be in the basement working on the potion, try not to bother me.”  
Prussia stuttered, “V-Vhat? Vhat if zhey start crying?”  
England began to walk down the stairs, “Not my bloody problem. Just don’t bother me unless it's a life-threatening emergency.”

Ten minutes later, and Prussia was pacing the floor worrying, “It’s been centuries since West was a baby! I forgot how to take care of babies!”  
France watched Prussia panic, “Mon amor, ‘ow bad can it be? You raised Germany rather well.”  
Spain watched the kids sleep, “...well, they were so cute at one point. Before all we did was fight and argue with them.”  
Suddenly they all heard a loud yawn and saw Russia rubbing his eyes. He looked at them and asked, “Privet?”  
France was the first to answer, “Bonjour, Russia, ‘ow are you feeling?”  
Russia looked around and then he asked, “Yeda?” He then rubbed his stomach with his tiny hand.  
Spain understood, “Ah, he’s hungry. Prussia, warm up a milk bottle for him.”  
Prussia stopped dead in his tracks and paused before looking at Spain with a lost and confused look in his eyes, "Okay, but can I put some Vodka in it for zhis one? I don't vant to be bothered vith him..." Prussia gave the cute little Ruski with the gigantic scarf, who looked at him with his huge violet eyes, an evil glare. But the little boy just slipped off the sofa and ran at Prussia with a innocent smile.  
“Chelovek!!” said the little boy.  
"BACK LITTLE SPAWN OF SATAN!!!!!" Prussia screamed as he made a mad dash into the kitchen.  
Russia called happily, “Poigray so mnoy, chelovek!!”  
France walked over and picked the cute little Ruski up, "Come on mon enfant, I'll play with you while Prussia gets your milk."  
A few seconds later, a sound similar to a pan hitting Prussia in the head came from the kitchen.  
Spain flinched, “Dios! He’ll wake up the bebes!”  
France asked Spain, “Is Hungary here?”  
Spain looked around, “No...it seems like she is not...maybe I should help mi amigo con ese botella de leche?”  
France nodded as he played peek-a-boo with the little boy, “Ohonhon ~! Where did I go ~?” He said as he covered his eyes with his hands. “Here I am!”  
Russia began to giggle happily and clap his tiny hands.

Spain returned to the kitchen, “Prussia, donde estas? Where did you go?”  
Prussia cursed from the floor, “...down here… scheiße!”  
Spain shook his head, “Dios! Such a dirty mouth around the bebes!” He began to move the pans off of Prussia one at a time and put them back on the counter.  
Prussia pointed to the lower cabinet, “I vas trying to get a pot from in the lower cabinet, und zhe upper cabinets flung open und attacked me vith pots und pans! What kind of a fun house is this?!"  
Spain grabbed his arm, “We are in Angleterre’s house. It seems they want to hurt you, amor. Now where is the milk powder he was talking about?”  
"Eeeeeh, I don't know. Let's start here." Prussia flipped open an upper cabinet and he paused in shock. "Um, Spain...?"  
Spain turned to look at him, “Que?”  
Prussia slowly tried to close the cabinet door before something big, black, and fuzzy jumped onto his face, "HOLY FRITZ!!!! GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Screamed the Prussian as he ran around the kitchen in circles, before running headfirst into the fridge and landing flat on his back on the floor.  
Spain shushed him, “Do you want seis bebes to wake up and cry? Awwww, solo es una arana...just a spider Prussia.” Spain lifted up the fuzzy creature off the albino’s cheek and put it back in the cluttered cabinet.  
"Ich hasse Spinnen..." Prussia hissed, still sprawled out across the floor, a red mark now on his forehead from hitting the fridge head on. Spain walked over the pouting Prussian and opened some of the lower cabinets, pulling out a canister with a teddy bear with a blanket on it.  
“This says baby formula, I think this is what we need to give them.” Spain put the canister on the counter. He waited a minute before Prussia rolled over lazily and finally stood up.  
"Be sure to check the date on that stuff, don't want to have a mass murder in here." Prussia paused for a minute, "Even if it is spoiled, let's give it to Russia."  
Spain looked over at the Prussian with an angry glare, “Dios Prussia! He’s just a bebe right now!”  
A diabolical smile crept across the Prussia's face, "So? Centuries of getting hacked in the neck didn't kill him, so this won't! I could feed him poison and toxic waste, he'll just glow green!"  
Spain glared back before looking at the canister's date, “Hmmm...nope, still good for a couple more months. Lo siento Prussia, it seems like all these babies will drink their leche...if only I knew how to use it.” He began to read the back of it for the instructions.  
Prussia did some thinking for a minute, " Oi Spain! Why don't we just mix a little of zat stuff into regular milch!"  
Spain turned the thing over, read the back and said, “Hmmmm...no Prussia. We need water...babies can’t drink real milk at their age.”  
Prussia stood there dumbfounded as Spain walked over to the sink to fill the pot with water for the stove, "R-Really?! I use to give it to Germany all the time when he was ein Kind!"  
Spain put the pot on the stove and told him, “Ai Prussia, pero, nowadays the regular leche is bad, and it says this stuff makes them smarter. I’m going to make mucho, porque we have siete bebes. Oh, can you hand me the botellas, they are under the sink.”  
As Prussia reached for the doors with caution, he quickly grabbed the bottles and slammed the door shut, "Hier, you make the Kindermilch, und I'll go check on them." 

In the living room, Russia and China were sitting on France's lap, America was running around with the toy plane in his hands and Germany sat on the couch, silent as the sleeping Japan and Italy brothers next to him.  
France continued to impress China and Russia, "Ah! Look at my thumb, bebes!” He said as he did the I-pulled-my-thumb-off magic trick. Russia grabbed France's hand, trying to figure it out. China clapped and smiled, enjoying the trick.  
While America ran around with his plane toy, Prussia had his eyes on his little brother, sitting alone on the sofa.  
Prussia smiled, walked over, and knelt down in front of Germany," Guten Morgen, mein kleiner Bruder. Wie sind du?"  
Little Germany looked at his big brother dead in the eyes, "Guten Tag, Preußen. Ich bin gut, dankeschön."  
Prussia was so happy to hear little Germany speak to him in his cute baby German that he let out a little squeal. Germany pat the seat besides him, motioning for Prussia to sit down.  
Prussia ignored his gesture, picked up Germany, and sat down with his little brother sitting on his lap. "D'awwwww! You are so cute, West! Why can't you stay little like zhis forever?!" He squealed as he hugged a not amused Germany.  
Germany squirmed a little, pointing to France, "Hm? You want to go play with France?" Just then, America rushed up to Germany and pulled on his leiderhosen.  
"Play with me, Germany!" America placed a second toy plane onto Germany's lap. Germany jumped down off Prussia's lap and grabbed America's aeroplane. "Hey! What did you do that for!?" America screamed. Germany gave him a cocky glare like Prussia usually gives to Austria, "Oh ~ ? Jou vant jour plane back ~ ? Zhen come und get it!"  
Just like the strong kid he was, America jumped onto Germany and began to pull his hair. "OW!!! GET OFF ME, FATTY!!!" Germany screamed as he scratched at America. America punched back at the little boy's jaw, turning it purple within a moment.  
France called out, "Oui! Stop zhem Prussia!"  
Prussia calmly stood up and walked over to the corner of the room opposite from where the boys were fighting, and picked up a thin item that England had hanging on the wall. When Germany cried out in pain, Prussia dashed over and both of the whole room seemed to freeze as America looked down at the long sword blade that was in front of him at neck height for both of them.  
"Either one of you make another move, you vill get badly hurt" Prussia said in the most serious and cold voice he could muster. Both boys froze in their tracks. There was a scratch under America's eye and two large purple bruises on Germany's face: one of his cheek and one near his chin. He sheathed the sword and quickly put it back between the two boys. With a quick flick of the sheathed sword, Prussia parted America off of his brother. Russia jumped down off France's lap and ran over to see Germany who was still played out on the ground, socking America one good time in the face on his way.  
America stood up, ran after and pushed the Russian forward so he fell on his stomach. Then he ran off to the basement.  
Spain emerged from the kitchen, "Dios! Put that thing away Prussia! That sword gives me bad memories!"  
Irritated, Prussia gave Spain and France a murderous glare,"Shut up! Is the milch ready yet!?"  
Spain nodded and told him, "I was about to give it to the bebes. France, can you put China down and hold the Italy bebes? They're the only bebes that can't hold their botellas." In groups of two at a time, Spain came out of the kitchen giving each baby a bottle. First, Russia and China. Second, Germany and Japan (whom Prussia was feeding once he calmed down). Then the Italy brothers.  
Spain then went down to the basement to give one to America. He was sleeping and England was holding him and brewing with one hand.

The afternoon went pretty smoothly from there, luckily for Spain, Prussia and France, who were beginning to tire out quickly. America, Russia, Germany and China all went back to sleep, so right now, there were no babies awake, besides Japan who sat in Prussia’s lap and didn’t want to get up.  
Prussia pet Japan’s hair gently, “*yawns* Japan, aren't you tired yet?" Japan didn’t speak, just drank his bottle without a word.  
Spain lay sprawled out on the floor besides the babies, “Dios...so many bebes...I’m sleepy too.”  
France propped up on his arm against the wooden chair, “Wait until Angleterre finishes ze potion.”  
A sharp cry came from the children, this time, it was baby Romano.  
Spain lifted up the baby, “Romano, are you hungry mi bebe?” But every time Spain attempted to give Romano the bottle, he turned his head away and kept crying.  
Prussia suddenly wrinkled his nose, “Ugh, what is zhat awful smell?! Mein eyes are watering!"  
France pinched his nose, “Did Angleterre try to cook again?”  
Just then, Italy joined Romano in crying. Spain pinched his nose and told them, “Um...amigos...I think the babies need...a diaper change.”  
France smiled and ran upstairs to England's bedroom to fetch the diapers from out of the closet. Prussia stood there, clueless as ever.  
He asked, “Oi Spain...exactly, how do you change a 'diaper'?"  
Spain asked, “You never changed your hermano’s diaper before?” He looked pretty shocked.  
Prussia looked at Spain and then at Romano, his pale face flushed pink with embarrassment, "W-Well...no."  
Spain smiled and then giggled, “Lession ciento uno for you mi amigo. It may have been a while, But France y yo have changed diapers back in the day.”  
France came down, diapers in hand, a small sheet, baby powder and baby wipes.  
Prussia looked at all the stuff in his friend’s arm and wonder why so much stuff was necessary to change a diaper. Was it some kind of art, like riding a bike?  
Spain called him over, “Put Japan down amigo. You need to hold all the other stuff.”  
"Okay," Prussia sat Japan down onto the floor and went over to help.

France spread the cloth on the floor, “Who do you want to change?”  
Spain handed him Italy, “I think he’s more wet than Roma is.”  
Prussia stood there, awkwardly watching his two friends change the Italian babies.  
France told him, “Baby wipes.”  
"...what? Oh!" Prussia juggled everything in his arms, searching for the baby wipes, "HERE!" He tossed the bottle at France.  
Spain told him, “Not that, amigo!” He reached up and took the box of wipes from Prussia and opened the box. Prussia watched in awe and disgust (more disgust than awe) as he watched the method in which to “change a diaper”. He cringed, covered his eyes partially and kept his nose covered.  
France laughed to himself, “Merde Prussia, it’s as though you’ve never touched a baby before.”  
Prussia blushed and blurted, “I've touched a baby before! Just...non this...young."  
Spain handed him the dirty diaper, “Can you toss this, Prussia?” France held his out to Prussia too.  
"...I'm not touching zhat!" Prussia protested, his nose still scrunched.  
France teased, “Is zhe great and “awesome” Prussia too unawesome to throw a diaper in the garbage?”  
Prussia squinted his eyes at France,"NO WAY! GIVE ME ZHOSE!!!!" He screamed as he made a "suicide" run to the kitchen trash bin. Spain and France could hear him screaming and hopping around the kitchen flapping his “contaminated hands” while complaining, “EW! I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST DID ZHAT! ACK! I HOPE I DIDN'T GET ANY OF ZHAT TOXIC WASTE ON ME! ICH MAG DICH NICHT FRANKREICH!!!!!!"  
France chuckled, “Zhis is the best part of calling him unawesome.”  
Spain looked to France, “I hope he doesn’t wash his hands too-”  
They could already hear the faucet running and Prussia telling himself, “I'm going to scrub every inch of my hands with whatever I can find under the sink...hopefully it has bleach in it...*mumbles*"

About an hour later, England returned from the basement with the ready potion, “Alright chaps, good work watching after the babies while I was busy." He congratulated them, holding up a bottle of the potion, "now which one should drink it first?" He then noticed that all the babes were lying on the floor on a blanket and the BTT themselves were laying on top of each other on the sofa, all of them fast asleep.  
England chuckled and taunted them, “Nap time for all of my babies? Do you guys want a warm bottle of milk and a bedtime story?"  
All of the BTT snored in response, a clear indicator that they needed their beauty sleep too. Clearly, being a nanny was harder than they thought.  
England resisted the urge to photograph the moment, "Oh, this is too good, but alas, I'll let them sleep this experience off." He walked over and bent down over America, "Meanwhile, it's time I changed all of you back."  
Opening each of the infants' mouths, he fed the potion to each baby. One by one he heard a POOF! And before him lay all the countries, fast asleep, as adults again.  
England remembered he did have a camera in his upstairs drawer. He hastily ran upstairs to his bedroom, grabbed the camera, and ran back downstairs with it. CLICK! As the camera printed the photo and it developed in his hand, England snickered with delight, "Oh, this is going into my album for sure."

**Author's Note:**

> Another reupload from my deviantart account (Published there on 11/16/2014)  
> This is a old fanfic I made, I know it's not the best, so please don't be too harsh! :0  
> Enjoy! :D


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